Musings & Observations / Barry Halpin
Dr. Trendy has just returned from another mini-vacation in San Francisco, where he hung out in Haight-Ashbury, the Mission District, Golden Gate Park and North Beach. While there, he saw some great rock 'n' roll at The Fillmore, took many a joyous stroll down memory lane and had some stellar meals. With his love advice batteries recharged, he shares some homespun wisdom and much needed guidance for the love seekers of the world.
Help! The incredible chaos of modern life is making it impossible to keep the romance alive in our relationship. Either I'm too tired or he's too tired or we're both too tired, or the kids need help with their homework or there's a PTA meeting to go to. You get the picture. There always seems to be something that puts the kibosh on even a momentary romantic interlude.
That's not even the worst part. We always fight on our anniversary; we're both stubborn, so no one gives in and it becomes a day of pouting. The one day that you would think we could get it together and celebrate the amazing love we have for each other, we end up fighting like cats and dogs. Please not this year.
Stressed to The Max
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You have succumbed to the mega-pressure of having to be romantic on what is undoubtedly a very special day. This can only create high anxiety, and leads to the exact opposite result of the one you seek. An anticipated love explosion becomes instead a love implosion, which is not particularly pleasant.
My advice is: Start the day off with an argument and let your husband think he's won. This will make him feel very satisfied and he will then be putty in your hands and the anniversary festivities can begin. To the victor go the spoils!
At first I loved her more than she loved me and it was very painful. But I held out hope that one day her love would amp up and equal mine. I'd do whatever I could to please her, often making my friends break up in uncontrollable laughter and mock me in tweets. But I prevailed and won her love. However, her love became too smothering and she would get jealous at the slightest provocation.
Once, she started a scene at a local supermarket when she accused me of staring so hard at a woman in the frozen food department that my look melted the frozen vegetables.
As you can understand, I couldn't take it anymore and fell out of love with her. Then she had the audacity to take some self-improvement courses and work out at the gym -- a complete and sensational emotional and physical make over. Now, she's this new person I'm totally flipped out over, a lot like my first love. Unfortunately, when I try and hook up with her she tells me it's over. Am I too neurotic to get off this love merry-go-round?
Dear Love Crazed:
I'm reminded of a woman with whom I was once head over heels in love. Sadly, it wasn't mutual, and caused me a lot of psychic pain. Then I became famous, and she fell madly in love with me. We had a whirlwind romance that stretched from Fiji to Paris to Coney Island, but it ended when she fell in love with an English rock star.
I realize that the ups and downs of modern day relationships are a slippery slope and can promote neurotic behavior. But remember that love does make the world go 'round. So when you fall off the love merry-go-round, you really don't have a choice but to brush yourself off and get back on. And why don't you Google your first love and try to reconnect.
I don't want to sound like I just beamed down from Mars, but where can I meet women? And please don't tell me Venus. By the way, I'm somewhat shy and don't feel comfortable using online dating services like Match.com or eHarmony.com.
Dear Love Alien:
You must be from Mars if you haven't figured out where to meet women. They outnumber us and they're everywhere. I would suggest: Department store sales; Zumba fitness parties; real estate classes; romance novel discussion groups at the library; Michael Bolton concerts; the New York City Subway Lexington Avenue line during rush hour, and yoga classes. If all else fails, maybe you should try Venus.
Barry Halpin can be reached at email@example.com.