Editorial: A Darien fable

Keys. They belong in the house after they are taken out of the ignition.

Keys. They belong in the house after they are taken out of the ignition.

Susan Shultz

Once upon a time, there was a man who lived in a kingdom called Darien.

Darien was a wonderful village by the sea. Many traveled far and wide just to settle in cottages there where they raised lovely families on their farms. The man had a beautiful house and a lovely and loving wife. He had hardworking and earnest children. He had many loyal friends. His estate was the envy of all the land.

But there was one thing that was missing. One thing that he had always dreamed of, but found elusive.

That one thing was a 2016 BMW X3.

Far and wide, this man searched for a 2016 BMW X3. There was none to find in all the land of Darien. So one day, he told his family he was to set upon a quest.

His wife, marveling at his dedication and bravery, packed a satchel with water, red wine from Sipstirs, homemade bread from Flour Water Salt Bread, some meatballs from Papa Joe’s, and, in case of emergency, a canteen of lobster bisque from Rory’s.

Empowered with his family’s love and Darien’s nutrition, he embarked upon his journey. As the evening grew darker and colder, he came upon a troll by a bridge.

“You must answer one question before I let ye pass!” the troll growned.

The man, honest of heart and sound of mind, was not afraid.

“Who has the better football team? The red of New Canaan, or the blue of Darien?” the troll asked.

“Darien, of course,” he answered.

“You’re right,” the troll said. “I’ve got to come up with better questions,” the troll muttered as he wandered back under the bridge.

The man found a place to sleep under a flowering tree in the Mather woods. When he awoke, he gathered his items and nearly tripped over a vessel that appeared to have unearthed overnight.

“A Ring’s End paint can? How did you travel this far?” the man said. He began to wipe off the label with his Blue Wave towel.

Suddenly, the can began to shake until a mysterious blue genie appeared in a cloud over his head.

“Thank you, my master. You have freed me,” he said. “It was your magic towel! Now you may have three wishes.”

The man, being of sound heart and wise mind, thought hard about this power.

“I wish there be health for my family and friends,” he said, and the genie nodded.

“I wish for peace on Earth and an end to war,” he said, and the genie nodded again, admiring his nobleness.

“The last, and most important wish — I wish for a 2016 BMW X3,” he said.

The genie gasped.

“Not a 2016 BMW X3 ... that is the rarest thing in all the land. Everyone wants one. Are you sure you won’t take a Mercedes? I’ve got one with very few miles,” the genie said.

“No — I have longed for this my whole life. Please grant me this wish, genie!” the man said.

The genie thought.

“I will grant you this wish on one condition,” the genie said.

“Anything!” the man exclaimed.

“You must leave the car, unlocked, with the keys in it for three days. After three crows of the rooster in the morn, the car is yours,” the genie said.

The man, being of sound, wise mind, looked at him incredulously.

“Forget it,” he said. “Why don’t I just give it away!? It will be stolen the first night!”

And the man headed back to Darien to appreciate what he already had. His family was so glad the lobster bisque was still warm.