What\u2019s that noise coming from Maine? Why it\u2019s the cry of the loon! Specifically, Vacationland\u2019s cuckoo bird ex-governor Paul LePage, who wants to get back in the game. LePage was Trump-crazy before Trump-crazy was cool. He expressed enthusiasm for bombing the offices of the Portland Herald, for reviving the guillotine, and for shooting one of his political foes right between the eyes in a duel. Sign up to get Colin\u2019s newsletter delivered to your inbox, for free He said the IRS was not quite the same as the Holocaust \u201c... yet.\u201d He invited the NAACP to \u201ckiss my butt\u201d when they invited him to a Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. thing. He threatened to shoot an editorial cartoonist, which I realize is a misdemeanor, but still. Here in Connecticut we will always remember him for his frequent descriptions of the source of Maine\u2019s drug problems: \u201cThe traffickers ... these are guys by the name D-Money, Smoothie, Shifty. These type of guys that come from Connecticut, New York. They come up here, they sell their heroin, then they go back home. Incidentally, half the time they impregnate a young, white girl before they leave, which is the real sad thing because then we have another issue we gotta deal with down the road.\u201d Obviously, he never heard D-Money, Smoothie and Shifty\u2019s (a\/k\/a Moose Tang Clan) EP, \u201cStraight Outta Caribou.\u201d Those brothers were all about repping the 207. I mention LePage because he has filed papers to run again for governor after leaving office at the end of 2018 and watching his hand-picked successor be defeated by a reasonably sane ham sandwich with extra pickles. He moved to Florida but then came back to Maine to work \u2014 you can\u2019t make this up \u2014 as a bartender at McSeagull\u2019s restaurant in Boothbay. He was, this summer, registered to vote in both Florida and Maine, to which I say: Stop the steal! Or maybe: Stop the seal! He has been endorsed by Sen. Susan Collins in one of those periodic reminders that Susan Collins has learned nothing about anything and never will. I mention the above because there is kind of an opening at the bottom of the U.S. governors ladder. Andrew Cuomo, who was horrible but not crazy, is gone. It\u2019s difficult to say who is currently the worst governor in America because if you say, \u201cWe\u2019re only considering governors who have bungled the pandemic and gotten a lot of people killed,\u201d you haven\u2019t really thinned out the herd that much. Or maybe you have. Maybe it really comes down to Florida\u2019s Ron DeSantis, Texas\u2019 Greg Abbott and South Dakota\u2019s Kristi Noem. They have \u2014 give or take a Mississippi\u2019s Tate Reeves \u2014 emerged as the Three Musketeers of unfettered disease spread. Or, to steal an old Letterman joke, Two Musketeers and a Guy with a Hacking Cough. They all spew a standard Republican line about personal freedoms while allowing very few. Schools and businesses in their states have not been free to impose sensible infection controls. All three are sizing up White House runs in 2024, and it will be interesting to see whether they think it\u2019s enough to act like the next Trump or whether, somehow, the rule book has been rejiggered so that they have to find some abysses, unspelunked by Trump himself, that even more fully embrace cynicism, incompetence and pure death. One out of every 422 South Dakotans has died from COVID-related causes. How do you run on that? I can\u2019t help but be grateful for Edward Miner Lamont. He hasn\u2019t done a perfect job, but he\u2019s done a good one. In fact, not being perfect was maybe even part of his plan. He\u2019s thrown the business community just enough bones so that he didn\u2019t get defined as an epidemiological prig. I\u2019ve actually never experienced a stupid or crazy Connecticut governor. John Rowland was the worst of the lot, but he was just corrupt \u2014 far more comprehensively than most people realize. He wasn\u2019t stupid or crazy, and I suspect he would have done a decent job with the virus. Maybe not quite Larry Hogan (Maryland), Charlie Baker (Massachusetts) or Mike DeWine (Ohio), but bubbling just underneath them. Remember, Rowland always loved Pfizer. People remember the Kelo case, in which a homeowner tried to fight off an attempt to use eminent domain to take her little pink house away. People forget that the development, known as Fort Trumbull, was drawn up by the Rowland administration as a way to thank Pfizer for all the happiness precipitated by Viagra. Think about all of this next year. It really matters who your governor is. I may not even cover the election because of my friendship with Republican contender Themis Klarides and her husband. But I\u2019m here to tell you: this is not an election you skip because there\u2019s no sexy presidential choice. Let us end by considering another way in which the bar has moved. Jim Justice, the Republican governor of West Virginia, has been flipping out lately against the \u201cvile action\u201d taken by certain horrible people. What did they do? They voted against letting him coach the Greenbrier East High School boys\u2019 varsity basketball team. Which he really, really, really wants to do. While he is still governor. Even though his state has some pretty big problems. And even though he could not really attend practices. The movie version would be \u201cWhosiers.\u201d West Virginia has the lowest vaccination rate in the nation, despite Justice\u2019s \u201cDo It for Babydog\u201d campaign, named after his English bulldog. But he needs to coach basketball this instant. I don\u2019t understand anymore. I\u2019m meeting D-Money in the parking lot of McSeagull\u2019s, and when he asks me if I want \u201cthe lobster pot,\u201d I\u2019m not even going to ask which kind he means. Colin McEnroe\u2019s column appears every Sunday, his newsletter comes out every Thursday and you can hear his radio show every weekday on WNPR 90.5. Email him at email@example.com. Sign up for his newsletter at http:\/\/bit.ly\/colinmcenroe.