To the Editor:
A revolutionary political voice has arrived on the scene here in picturesque Darien—and none too soon. Like many of my fellow citizens, I find Mr. Chris Noe’s maverick point-of-view to be a breath of fresh air, washing over a town whose political leadership has grown rotten and sallow with entrenched stagnation. I write today to express my sincere endorsement for Mr. Noe and encourage all of you to do the same.
Why Mr. Noe? It’s simple:
He thinks outside the box: As a Democrat who voted for President Donald Trump, Mr. Noe clearly won’t let minor issues like common sense and human decency stand in the way of his vision for a brighter future for all of Darien
He’s not afraid to make critical sacrifices: Mr. Noe is willing to write off his own mother in order to more rigidly adhere to his unwavering political beliefs. A man who puts his political ideology over his own mom is someone we can trust not to back down to outside influence.
He’s committed to family: Mr. Noe’s willingness to donate a kidney to his estranged brother tells you all you need to know about his strong familial bent</p>
<p>He’s opposed to the medical lobotomization of bored school-age boys/minions: It’s about time someone took a stand on this important issue. I think we can all agree there have been enough of those Minions movies.
He’s a carpenter: You know who else was a carpenter? Little known fact: many biblical scholars believe Jesus Christ also had problems obtaining the proper permits from the incompetent bureaucrats at the Jerusalem town hall.
A vote for Mr. Noe is a vote for change. I encourage all of you to VOTE YES FOR NOE on November 7th and contribute generously to CleanCoasts.U.S.
Let’s make Darien great again.